It is possible to dedicate your life to anything. But that is not my problem. My problem is finding something that is worth dedicating my life to. I cannot justify dedicating my life to a job, and defining myself according to the success of my career. And so, I have found myself worrying that I have somehow wasted my time in college because I am at the end without a passion for something.
The mid-twentieth century poet, Oma Carlyle Anderson, in her book of poems, Bright is the Tempo, talks about the Agnostic--the one who is without belief:
Perhaps the agnostic is so
Because he faces hope
With rapier drawn;
Rides at faith
With a lifted sword,
And searches for truth
Exactly as one
Who would take out a candle
To look for the sun.
In many ways, my search for passion is the same as the Agnostic's search for truth. I assumed that I could find passion in a tiny flame, but that only distracted me from the bigger picture. A career will not illuminate everything.
Relationships have been a greater source of growth for me than anything else since coming to college. Learning to love people has taught me more wisdom, and enriched all the other aspects of my life. The relationships I formed in college will continue past commencement. My career will end, but my relationships with others will endure and grow for as long as I am conscious of them. C.S. Lewis explains the importance of relationships better than I in his book, The Four Loves:
Relationships have been a greater source of growth for me than anything else since coming to college. Learning to love people has taught me more wisdom, and enriched all the other aspects of my life. The relationships I formed in college will continue past commencement. My career will end, but my relationships with others will endure and grow for as long as I am conscious of them. C.S. Lewis explains the importance of relationships better than I in his book, The Four Loves:
"For us of course the shared activity and therefore the companionship on which Friendship supervenes will not often be a bodily one like hunting or fighting. It may be a common religion, common studies, a common profession, even a common recreation. All who share it will be our companions; but one or two or three who share something more will be our Friends. In this kind of love, as Emerson said, Do you love me? means Do you see the same truth?--Or at least, 'Do you care about the same truth?' The man who agrees with us that some question, little regarded by others, is of great importance can be our Friend. He need not agree with us about the answer."
Lewis is not explaining a situation where friendship arises because of a common belief. He is explaining a situation where friendship arises as the result of mutual empathy between two people. "Do you care about the same truth" he asks. The type of relationship Lewis describes makes things like academics, sports, and music worthwhile pursuits because they provide the material needed for two people to realize they care about the same truth. They are the wick upon which the flame burns.
I no longer worry that my time at college was a waste. I have stopped trying to isolate my search for passion to one area of my life. An approach such as that will prove too weak to meet the needs of my human condition. My academic and social experiences during college have challenged me and created within me a desire to discover truth. This newfound desire makes it possible for me to form relationships with others. Such relationships should begin with the discovery of a mutual desire for answering important questions and modeling one's lifestyle in pursuit of those answers. C.S. Lewis expands on his above comment by asserting that Friendship must be about something. "The very condition of having Friends is that we should want something else besides Friends" says Lewis.
So, what is my passion? It is not a career, because a career can only lead to brief periods of success or failure. Nor is it about Friendship, because Friendship, by Lewis' insightful definition, cannot be the end goal either. I think true passion must be focused elsewhere past personal successes, higher than friendship between two people, and at a level that supersedes human subjectivity. My passion is to discover the truth: the thread that is woven throughout the tapestry of humanity, which transcends nature and nurture alike. By this definition, passion is not something that is yours. You do not "find" it specially made for you. Instead, you live in search for this truth. As a result, people join you and you are enriched by their Friendship and contribution. Together you work towards a common goal. In the end, I believe we will all find that passion made us. We are the candles; passion is the Sun.
June 29, 2014
This article was originally published on September 22nd, 2013. After spending quite some time thinking about the direction of this blog, I realized that this article was more of a mission statement than an average post.
I no longer worry that my time at college was a waste. I have stopped trying to isolate my search for passion to one area of my life. An approach such as that will prove too weak to meet the needs of my human condition. My academic and social experiences during college have challenged me and created within me a desire to discover truth. This newfound desire makes it possible for me to form relationships with others. Such relationships should begin with the discovery of a mutual desire for answering important questions and modeling one's lifestyle in pursuit of those answers. C.S. Lewis expands on his above comment by asserting that Friendship must be about something. "The very condition of having Friends is that we should want something else besides Friends" says Lewis.
So, what is my passion? It is not a career, because a career can only lead to brief periods of success or failure. Nor is it about Friendship, because Friendship, by Lewis' insightful definition, cannot be the end goal either. I think true passion must be focused elsewhere past personal successes, higher than friendship between two people, and at a level that supersedes human subjectivity. My passion is to discover the truth: the thread that is woven throughout the tapestry of humanity, which transcends nature and nurture alike. By this definition, passion is not something that is yours. You do not "find" it specially made for you. Instead, you live in search for this truth. As a result, people join you and you are enriched by their Friendship and contribution. Together you work towards a common goal. In the end, I believe we will all find that passion made us. We are the candles; passion is the Sun.
June 29, 2014
This article was originally published on September 22nd, 2013. After spending quite some time thinking about the direction of this blog, I realized that this article was more of a mission statement than an average post.
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